Missing You
by niaht
Summary: PostRescue JackSawyer. Kate is the last one to find out about their unexpected relationship.


The boat had arrived out of nowhere, but it was harder to leave, after two years, than they thought it would be. They left together, save for Kate, who was separated from them immediately. She left without a fight; it was Jack who screamed for her. It was Jack who screamed, and Sawyer who wrestled him back from the marshals holding her.

The boat ride was tense but relaxing, Kate on everyone's minds. Jack had sat alone, and Sawyer was silent before moving and sitting next to him, whispering things no one else could hear. Then Jack had suddenly broken down in Sawyer's strong embrace, and shocked as they were, the others turned away. It really wasn't their business.

So they didn't see how Sawyer caressed Jack's back slowly, and Jack finally sat up and wiped his eyes, then their hushed conversation continued. They never found out how it had never really been about Kate, even though Jack and Sawyer thought it had been. It was them, and their feelings amounted to so much over their time together, it was impossible to avoid them now.

So Jack started the kiss, and no one saw. He started it and finished it, resting his head on Sawyer's broad chest trustingly. The others didn't notice how Jack and Sawyer stayed together till they got to land, and when they stepped off, their fingers entwined. They left quietly and no one heard from either for a week or two, then Charlie and Claire were out shopping, and there they were.

"Jack!" Charlie called across the homeware shop, and they both spun around, the laughing smiles fading from their faces. Shared a glance, then headed over to the couple. They greeted each other and chatted amiably for a while, then the inevitable question came up.

"So, what are you two doing here, _together_? It's not like you were ever the type of people to go shopping for houseware together," Charlie noted, and Claire shot him a look. Jack opened his mouth, but Sawyer cut in.

"I'm stayin' with Jack. For… a while. We, uh, broke a lamp last night. Gettin' a new one."

Jack looked at Sawyer briefly with a slightly panicked look, then back to see Charlie and Claire's reaction. When they didn't say anything, he said the first thing that came to his lips.

"Well, it was mostly Sawyer, I didn't break it. He…" he trailed off quickly, and Sawyer rounded on him. They argued, until Claire had to shout over their voices to be heard, and after a few more words they parted. Jack and Sawyer headed back to get a lamp, and Charlie and Claire didn't miss the closeness they had, or the brush of Sawyer's hand over Jack's shoulder, and definitely not the playful kiss Jack placed on Sawyer's cheek in return.

They left quickly and before Jack and Sawyer knew it, everyone knew.

-oOo-

"Jin's learning English," Sun said proudly, and Kate smiled genuinely. She reached over the table and took the certificate Sun had brought, showing Jin's name in cursive script, _Level One English_ printed at the top. "He's doing very well, he passed his first exam perfectly."

"That's brilliant, Sun. I'm so happy for you."

Sun smiled, and her hand went unconsciously to her rounded stomach, second child on the way. Kate smiled knowingly and patted Sun's hand, truly happy for her friend. The conversation came to a stop, and Sun sensed she knew what was coming next.

"So, uh, Sun… you heard from Jack? Or Sawyer?"

Sun sighed. "Kate…"

"Please. Just… I need to know."

Sun looked away, uncomfortable. "Claire called the other day… Jack looks very healthy, she said. She saw him in town."

Kate's eyes lit up a little. "So he's… around? And Sawyer?"

"Kate, I really don't… I'm not sure."

Kate sighed and sat back, as Sun swiftly changed the topic, leaving Kate hanging once again.

-oOo-

"Yeah, well, Charlie said he saw Sawyer about a week ago…"

Hurley looked, if possible, more uncomfortable than Sun had. Kate still hadn't gotten a straight answer from anyone, and it was creating hurricanes in her mind. She didn't know why Jack and Sawyer hadn't visited, or why everyone was avoiding the topic. What was she missing?

"Really? Where? What about Jack? Did he talk to him? Was he… okay?" Kate leaned forward eagerly.

"Uh, some shop… um, Jack was…" Hurley changed his tack, realising the hole he was digging himself into. "Sawyer was the same, he said. But I dunno, I wasn't there, and it was a while ago, I can't quite remember…" Another lie. Who could forget?

"I just wanna _see_ them…" Kate muttered, and Hurley was slightly relieved when the guard told him it was time to go, and he left, Kate looking both angry and sad, letting herself be lead away.

-oOo-

Aaron tugged on Claire's sleeve persistently, and she lifted him onto her knee absently. Charlie leaned forward and looked seriously at Kate, wondering what to say.

"Yeah, we've seen them. They look great, must be looking after themselves." He paused and looked away for a moment. "Kate… I've asked them to come. I told them you want to see them. Jack gave me their number when we met them, and -

"_Their_ number?" Kate frowned, and Charlie's eyes widened.

"Um, I mean, uh…"

"Kate," Claire pushed Charlie back and placed Aaron on his lap, taking control. "Sawyer's… uh, staying with Jack. They don't always answer the phone, but I guess Jack works a lot, and… you know Sawyer. I'm going to keep ringing them, though, because… they have to see you. And they probably have a lot to tell you. Things that… _they_ have to tell you."

Kate stared at her, trying to simultaneously process and decode what she was being told. Before she could demand more answers, though, the guard interrupted them and the family left, leaving her more muddled than before.

-oOo-

The next time she was told she had a visitor, she didn't expect anything. She trudged out, defeated. It was only when she glanced up, everything changed. They hadn't seen her yet, and she stopped in her tracks.

Jack was nervous. She knew him well enough to know that. Sawyer was nervous too, but he was hiding it. He sat back casually in his seat, while Jack sat up straight. Sawyer teased him gently; Kate could hear his deep drawl from across the room. Jack brushed his hands off when he reached over, and Sawyer scowled. He raised his eyes to the ceiling, then glanced around the room, and noticed her.

His eyes went wide, and he slowly sat up, then got to his feet, eyes still on her. Jack frowned at him, then followed his gaze, and followed him to his feet. Kate found herself in front of them, and tears formed in her eyes.

"You… you're here." She choked out, and Jack closed his eyes and bit his lip. Sawyer looked at the ground.

"Yeah," Jack said under his breath, and Kate slowly sat down in the metal chair beside her. She barely felt it. The men sat opposite her. She stared at them, disbelieving.

"Where have you _been_?" she said suddenly, her voice holding an underlining tone of anger. Jack rubbed a hand over his forehead, then leaned forward.

"Kate, I'm really sorry…"

"Yeah, Jack, I'm sorry too. I wanna know why the hell you two haven't visited me, and why _everyone_ I talk to doesn't wanna talk about you, why they _avoid_ the topic." Her voice rose higher and higher, and Jack looked closer to tears with each word.

"I'm so sorry… I - we just, couldn't…"

"Couldn't _what_? Talk to me? _Look_ at me?"

"No! No, Kate. It's not you. It's me… us." He gestured slightly to the space between him and Sawyer, looking away from Kate's accusing gaze. Kate fell silent.

"Us?" she said finally, quietly.

Sawyer knew Jack better than Kate did, but she didn't know it. He could tell how on edge Jack was at the moment, and he decided it was time to step in. Sawyer gently put a hand on Jack's shoulder and pushed him back into his seat, then leaned forward.

"Kate. I dunno how I'm s'posd to say this, but…" Sawyer glanced back at Jack. "I've been stayin' with Jack. Not just stayin', but… livin'. We're kinda… uh…" Sawyer was fiddling with his fingers, linking the tips together nervously.

"We're together." Jack blurted out, his hand flying immediately to cover his mouth before he could stop it. Sawyer glared at him, and Kate frowned, half shocked, but still confused.

"What?"

Sawyer sighed; Jack still looked completely shocked at himself. "We're together." Sawyer said. "Me and Jack. Like… god…"

Kate shook her head a little. "I don't understand what you're trying to say. You guys…"

"We're sleeping together, okay?" Sawyer cut her off, and they all fell silent again. Kate's eyes flicked over them, watching her anxiously. She stood up suddenly, her chair scraping noisily across the ground. Jack stood up too, stepping towards her. He breathed her name and she backed away, shaking her head.

"This can't be happening…" she looked away from them, as if searching for someone or something to help her, tell her it's not true.

Kate looked at them again, turned away and walked to the exit, where a guard ushered her out. Jack's calls were barely audible over the crashing in her ears, the sound of her world crashing around her shoulders.

-oOo-

Kate kept away from everyone else: other inmates, and any visitors. She refused to see them. The guards told her Jack and Sawyer had some back numerous times, both together and on their own. She never talked to them.

Kate spent the next month alone in her cell, running the situation over in her mind continuously. Jack and Sawyer had been her world for so long, it was almost crushing to find herself suddenly in a different universe. She spent two years getting closer to both of them - mostly Jack, but the three of them were something everyone else felt out of the loop about - and to have everything change…

So she just pondered, and with each day became more and more depressed.

The nagging voice at the back of her mind screamed that she was being entirely selfish, and it was probably right. She didn't want to listen to it, though. It told her to wake up, and let it go, neither belonged to her anyway.

Without realising it, Kate was getting sick. Whenever she had been down before, she'd talk to Jack, or think of Sawyer. She'd remember something about them that made her smile, because they did that for her. She'd only gotten a good lawyer because Jack had anonymously paid for one for her, so her sentence was shortened. In two years she'd be out of there. But being unable to talk to either of them at the moment, what was the point in even being out?

Before long, Kate couldn't get up. The prison doctor checked up on her, but couldn't find anything physically wrong. Kate knew what was wrong with her. She needed Jack and Sawyer in her life more than she's ever needed anyone, and feeling this _alone _was killing her.

She stayed curled up on her bed each day, and today was no different. She sunk back into herself as soon as she woke up, but before long she was disturbed by yelling and banging. It wasn't unusual, in here, but she was in a women's prison, and it was a man's voice.

Yelling her name.

She slowly sat up and stood, making her way to the doorway of her cell. She couldn't see anything, but she could hear him. Sawyer.

"I _need_ to see her. She can't just _refuse_!"

The other women in the prison were coming out, blocking her view. She slowly stepped out and started to push past them. When she got past them all, she caught sight of Sawyer. He was yelling and hitting at the guards at the door to the visiting room. Jack stood behind him, half pulling at his arms, half trying to reason with the guards. Kate stepped right up to the door, stopping and watching through the glass, Jack and Sawyer's forms blurred slightly from it. Another guard stepped up behind her.

"You wanna talk to them?" she asked, already knowing who they were to Kate. Kate nodded slightly, not quite knowing why. The guard took her arm and snapped on some cuffs, then opened the door. They stepped into a small corridor and continued through, then she opened the door in front of Jack and Sawyer and undid Kate's cuffs. Sawyer froze, and the guards stopped fighting him. Jack's fingers didn't leave his wrist, but loosened slightly.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The guard was telling Sawyer calmly, but he ignored him. Jack turned and began talking to him pleadingly, and they eventually let them stay.

They were awkward, the three of them. Not that they expected anything else. As usual, Jack broke the silence.

"Kate… I'm really sorry, okay? I don't want you to hate us. We didn't mean to hurt you…"

"I don't hate you." Kate murmured, surprising herself. "I shouldn't have been so selfish, I need you, both of you, and I can't ignore you anymore," Kate's voice gradually got higher, and before she knew it tears were running uncontrolled down her cheeks. "I'm getting out of here in just over two more years, thanks to you." She nodded at Jack. He looked away, and Sawyer knew he was almost crying too. "There's no point in getting out if I couldn't see you guys. I got through all the days before thinking of you, because I think you're the best friends I've ever had… not that I've had many. I remember the island, and the things that happened, and I think of all of us together, and I get through. When you… when I found out… I didn't want to be alone. I thought you'd forget about me, stuck in here, while you were enjoying life together. I was scared I'd lost you."

"Look, Kate." Sawyer leant forward, biting his lip. "I know what you mean, about the memories an' stuff. I'm not sayin' I liked them all, but it helps to remember, ya' know? And we're not gonna _forget_ you… how could we, Freckles? I ain't _never_ forgettin' that night of strip poker… what 'bout you, Doc?"

Jack smiled, his eyes shining. He noticed Sawyer trying to lighten the mood and hide his emotions by filling his speech with nicknames and jokes, pretending he didn't want to burst into tears just as much as Jack did. Jack slowly shook his head. "No, I won't forget that."

"See, Sugar? You've got nothin' to worry about!"

Kate laughed, and it turned into a joyful sob, and she broke down right there in the middle of the prison visiting room, smiling through her tears. She felt Jack wrapping his arms around her and hearing him crying too, and Sawyer telling him to stop, or he'd start as well.

So Kate realised how much she needed the people she trusted in her life, and would always remember they'd never give up on her.

-oOo-

"Charlie _was_ the first one naked,"

"I was not!"

"Dude, you so were! I think you took things off even when you won!"

Kate and Claire glanced at each other and dissolved into laughter, leaving the two men arguing together. They began to gather supporters on either side, involving all the castaways.

"Sayid! Tell him! I was _not_ the first one naked that night we played strip poker."

Sayid grinned and looked from Charlie to Hurley, remembering the night clearly. "I think you might have been…"

"Yes!" Hurley laughed and Charlie frowned.

"I can't believe you! Trust me, I remember. It was Kate."

Kate turned back to them, shocked. "What! You're not serious. _Jack_ was naked before _me_, I almost won!"

Claire nodded. "It's true, and Jack lasted pretty long…"

Charlie shook his head. "Now _you're_ against me too? Traitor!"

Claire giggled. "Well, you have no proof otherwise…"

"I can get some. Jack will remember." Charlie looked around for Jack, and spotted him after a moment. "Jack! JACK!"

Jack pulled back harshly from where Sawyer had him pushed up against a wall, his lips slightly swollen. He shoved Sawyer away from him and wiped his mouth, walking over to the group.

"You remember the night we all played strip poker?" Charlie asked immediately.

Jack grinned and looked at Kate. "Yeah, I remember,"

"Well, was I the first one naked?"

Jack shook his head, his grin becoming wider. "No, no. It was definitely Sawyer. He started with no shirt anyway."

Charlie looked like he wanted to scream, finally triumphant. He looked back to the other people, a smirk on his face. They shrugged, knowing the truth all along but finding fun in winding Charlie up, as usual. This was their second 'survivor reunion', starting from the year Kate was let out. Each year on the anniversary of their rescue they gathered together, everyone getting there somehow. No one forgot the time they shared together, and everyone loved to remember. Their tradition was exclusive but for the extending families of the survivors, partners and children there to be introduced each year. It took place at Jack and Sawyer's house in LA, a large place they bought with their combined settlement from Oceanic. It was almost like a hostel, as their fellow ex-castaways could drop in at any time and stay as they needed, spare rooms galore. Although, they tended to take the rooms on the other side of the house from Jack and Sawyer's. Noisy sleepers, they said. Jack and Sawyer weren't embarrassed, asking if it was really the _sleeping_ they had a problem with. Through all the time they shared, they all stayed something close enough to friends, and that was all they needed.


End file.
